All the articles and books I’ve read on how to cope with a break up they all seem to have this one thing in common and important “RULE” OR “TIP” OR “STEP” (call it what you want to ) and that is
Don’t try to be their friend – make a “clean break”
Well, as you know from my prev post i haven’t been really good at doing that making that CLEAN BREAK. Cutting him out of my life completely. They say its easier to go COLD TURKEY . Well I can sincerely say i admire the people who are able to do that . I was one of those admirable people before… that’s before i met him.
We shared what you would call a very unhealthy relationship . Too attached and too close.. We would literally sleep on the phone each night I know that’s crazy and bother line psychotic behavior. But it never seemed that way …. I loved going to bed with him and hearing him breath on the other side of that phone and even though we were miles apart it would seem like hes right next to me… (so far yet so close) 😛
and that’s just part of how much we were addicted to each other … ofc in time the the attraction faded away and just became a habit . But now that its all over I feel like an addict who has been sent to rehab and is left carving for just that one last puff 🙂 But I know better than going down hat road its never just that one last time is it ?
So I can get a CLEAN BREAK ….. what next can EX’S really remain friends soon after a break up … of course it doesn’t happen immediately but after weeks of working at it I think we may be able to remain amicable people if not maybe good friends .
And how I got here…
1. restrict the calls to a maximum of two calls (that’s the least I can go at this point) .
2. Keep the conversation casual (hows work , hows ya day etc etc )
3. Don’t bring up the relationship or the Break -up
4. Keep emotions at bay or any topic that you know would bring up emotions or any kind of arguments
5. lastly, but MOST importantly … no matter how much your insides are screaming at you to ask this bite your tongue and do whatever it takes to resist the urge of asking ….
Are you seeing someone new or Have to started dating again Or do You like someone ?
That last one is like a gory monster just waiting to spring at you and throw all your hard work at healing your self out the window …
But honestly being a friend is the hardest thing I have had to do apart from accepting this break up.
at the back of your mind you always keep wanting a lil more than just friends. But hopefully Fingers crossed as long as I stick to the above mentioned self written rules or checklist I think I should be fine… Only TIME can tell I guess..
So to answer the initial question :
Are we ready to be JUST Friends???
Well not yet but in time be may get there or possibly have the strength to help each other move on to bigger and better things !! 😀